Repressed
by huggablecarly
Summary: The spirit of Christmas has made its presence in Hetalia High, but for Natalya Arlovskaya, it's going to be put aside for an eye-opening experience. Pairings include: BelaLiech, a little bit of Rochu and a brief mention of GerIta, also past GerLiech. The story is also on my deviantart: pineapple-yummy


**Author's Note: Merry (early) Christmas to my readers and those who don't celebrate Christmas, happy holidays! Jus so you all know, this is my first story on my new account. I know it may not be that long, but I wanted to write a one-shot of my favorite Hetalia Yuri Pairing: BelaLiech (Belarus X Liechtenstein). So, read and enjoy!**

It was Christmas at Hetalia High, everybody was celebrating. The choir was singing carols to people who paid to hear, the classrooms were decorated with all sorts of adornments: wreaths, lights, garland etc. The mood seemed jolly and peaceful. But not everyone was in a Christmassy spirit.

A girl named Natalya had her mind focused elsewhere. She was thinking about why she even bothered to come school today. She knew everybody was afraid of her and just plain despised her. There were plenty of reasons too.

Everybody at school thought of Natalya's feelings for her older brother as disgusting and just plain wrong. Not to mention, the whole school felt creeped out by her obsessive and unfriendly demeanor. There were plenty of gay guys and girls, who were accepted by most of their classmates. But incest was considered to be wrong in every aspect, no questions asked. Natalya wasn't even sure if she was gay or at the very least bisexual.

She claimed to be madly in love with her brother, Ivan, proclaiming to marry him after high school. But was this really what she wanted? Or did she just love him the same way she loved her older sister, Katyusha? She was very protective of her sister and would always scare off any of the men who tried to grope her boobs. Although a Belgian girl named Bella would often do that, earning a slap from her girlfriend from Monaco.

Likewise, Natalya always protected her big brother. She was pretty sure he was dating that Chinese boy, who was also afraid of her. This made her act even more harsh to him and respond with more harassment. But is there more to Natalya than what meets the eye? Or is she nothing more than an incestuous stalker?

* * *

Natalya hated geometry class. There was absolutely no point to it, it's not like she would be using the Pythagorean theorem or all the other formulas she was forced to learn in the real world. She also hated working with other people in class, and she would always scare them into doing the work for her. But today was different, Natalya had an interesting partner, a girl named Lili, who looked to be her age.

Natalya recalled back in her freshman year, Lili dated a German boy named Ludwig. But then they broke up shortly after they dated, when Ludwig came out of the closet as gay. During the time they were dating, they never kissed or were intimate with each other. Now Ludwig was intimate with his new Italian boyfriend Feliciano. People were saying that his relationship was just a cover-up for fear of coming out. But what about Lili? She didn't seem to talk about men, unless she was talking about the men that her big brother Vash scared away from her whenever they seemed to get a little bit too friendly, at least according to Vash. Why did no one seem to point out that maybe she wasn't straight? Natalya frequently wondered about Lili in that area.

Natalya found Lili to be very pretty. The red jumper plaid uniform may not have made up for her small chest, she did seem to make it look cute, complementing her looks and tiny adorable butt. And her chin-length blonde hair was so shiny and gorgeous, it made her look perfect and the purple ribbon complemented her nicely. And when they had gym together, Natalya couldn't help but stare when Lili got undressed every now and then. Lili was the reason Natalya was questioning her sexuality, she didn't know whether she loved it or hated it.

The class was scattering to begin working on the geometry assignment. Lili got up from where she was sitting and greeted Natalya with a warm smile. But Natalya did not return the smile and instead gave her a death glare. This glare usually made students cringe in fear. But the one thing there is to know about Lili: She would always see the good in others, so she didn't let negative things bother her. So this attempt at fear did not phase her at all. She simply took her seat next to Natalya.

"Hi, you're Natalya right? I'm Lili. I don't think we've spoken before." Lili greeted politely in her high but gentle voice.

"I know who you are, I've been in the same class as you all year!" Natalya snapped.

"I was just being polite, that's all. Let's get started." Lili started to get an assortment of papers ready and then she handed a sheet of paper to Natalya, with the directions on what to do for the assignment. "Here, you start with reading this."

Natalya just stared at the paper she was supposed to be reading. She glared at Lili. "I'm not doing this, it's stupid"

"Oh well, I guess that means we'll both fail." Lili stated simply. Natalya looked more aggravated. Lili seemed like the only person who was not afraid of her. This was another thing Natalya secretly liked about her. Natalya just grumbled and did it anyway. Why didn't she refuse Lili's request? There was something about her that just felt so comforting and assuring. And her attraction felt so strong for it. As did her desire to please her. So Natalya immediately started to do a good amount of work for the assignment, and she did it gracefully.

"Wow, you're really good at experiments!" Lili complimented, which made Natalya feel delighted on the inside. This wasn't expressed on the outside of course, and she simply scoffed at this, and finished the assignment. Temporarily, silence passed between the two of them, before Lili broke it.

"Hey Natalya, have you ever been in a relationship?" Lili asked.

"Why do you want to know?" Natalya more or less hissed.

"I just want to know more about you." Lili said sweetly, which made Natalya turn the slightest shade of pink in response, but this was dismissed almost instantly.

"I don't know what you're talking about, I only have interest for my big brother. We're going to be married and together forever." Natalya said confidently, but she lacked this confidence in reality. And plus she did use to secretly have feelings for a Canadian boy named Matthew Williams. But this only turned out to not last long. Eventually, he eventually confessed his feelings for Katyusha and have been going strong for seven months now.

Lili just shrugged her shoulders in reply.

"Sure, I don't mind if you have feelings for your brother. I mean, most of the people at this school are gay or bisexual. I'm a lesbian." Lili admitted as if nothing was wrong with it. "It's our choice to accept our sexualities and yours to be in love with a sibling. We all have the right to make choices." Before Natalya could even reply, the bell rang.

"Oh! I better get going. I'll see you in gym, alright?" Lili said kindly before picking up her backpack and leaving. Natalya watched the gorgeous Liechtensteiner walk off for a long moment, admiring every inch of her while doing so. Then she finally got up, heading to her next period, eager for gym to come.

* * *

Gym finally did come. Natalya didn't really care for gym, personally. She thought sports were a waste of time, and she purposely threw the ball hard at the other girls to see them cry. Actually, she was not allowed to participate in gym this week because she smacked the young blonde chick from Belgium in the face during dodgeball last week. As a result, they no longer played dodgeball in gym and Natalya was forced to sit on the sideline for the rest of the week's gym classes. And Natalya obviously did not dispute. She sat on the bleachers, watching the girls set up for a basketball game. Her eyes turned towards Lili who just walked out of the locker room. She wore a shirt with the school's name on it and a pair of red basketball shorts to match. Even that looked flawless on her. She took out a bow and started to slowly tie it on the left side of her head and Natalya just watched her, unaware that Lili was aware of this.

And she watched her for the rest of the period as well, her gaze never being disconnected from the gorgeous Liechtensteiner. She may not have looked athletic, but Lili turned out to have the agility and coordination needed to play. A skillful, beautiful woman. Sure, she had her flaws. But they just didn't seem noticeable to Natalya.

Soon, the basketball game wrapped up afterwards and all the girls went to go and change. Natalya also had to go into the locker room as well, due to the fact that she left her book bag in there. She walked in, pushing the Taiwanese girl out of her way, but then she caught sight of something, or _someone_, that made her cheeks flush with an intense redness. Lili had just stripped down to her bra and panties, and was slipping her jumper on. Natalya stared for a time much longer than normal, before scurrying to get her bad. And Lili saw the whole thing and simply smirked to herself.

Once lunch rolled around, Natalya sat with her brother and her sister. Katayusha brought along Matthew also, sitting right by her side. But today, Yao and his brother Yong Soo tried to sit with them, since Yao and her brother were more or less dating. Natalya clung onto her brother the entire time, glaring at the two of them, while Ivan just looked scared. Yong Soo wouldn't stop rambling on about how Christmas was made in Korea and what not, and it was pissing Natalya off.

"Will you shut the hell up or do you want a death wish?!" Natalya snapped.

"Natalya, calm down please!" Katyusha said nervously, her huge breasts shaking in panic along with her.

"You need to calm down, lady. I'm just talking about the Korean origins of Christmas!" Yong Soo said, crossing his arms defiantly.

"You might as well stop lying at this point, idiot! Nobody believes in that "Made in Korea" crap anyway!" Natalya snapped.

"With a personality like yours, no wonder your Russian brother doesn't like women!" Yong Soo countered, which caused Natalya to raise and slam her hands on the table.

"Shut up! Don't you ever talk to me like that! I am going to marry my big brother and we are going to live happily ever after!" Natalya shouted proudly.

"Well, I heard from some girls in gym last period that you were staring at Lili like a creep! Watching her get undressed! Are you a lesbian or something?" Yong Soo questioned. Hearing this, Natalya turned red and she grabbed Yong Soo by the collar of his shirt , bringing him to her, their faces only inches apart.

"I am only in love with my brother, and everybody knows that! So don't you EVER say that again!" Natalya screeched in his face, though she was still blushing.

"But you're blushing, so it must be true!" Yong Soo seemed too curious to find out, instead of being scared.

"Yong Soo, you're just going to make her more angry!" scolded Yao nervously.

"S-sister, maybe you should stop." Ivan mumbled, and Katyusha nodded nervously in agreement.

"But I'm not doing anything, daze! She's just a huge LESBIAN!" Yong Soo basically screamed, causing silence to spread through the whole cafeteria. All of them were staring at Natalya. Not out of fear but for once, because of confusion and surprise. Natalya couldn't stand all of these stares. She felt her hard exterior fading, and she just threw Yong Soo on the floor and she ran off to the girl's bathroom. She just screamed at all of the girls to get out, and they obeyed her demand. Once she was alone, she did something she almost nerver did…she cried. Why? Why did that stupid Korean have to go and blow it to the whole school? Now her reputation was ruined! She felt afraid to be anything other than straight, but now she realized what her true identity was. She knew she didn't have romantic feelings for her brother. It was just a strong sense of protection and a desire to keep him safe. Now, she was falling for a girl, who makes her feel complete. But she also knew that she did have feelings for boys before, like Matthew and even his brother Alfred. So the word lesbian wouldn't suit her, instead she realized that the word bisexual was right for her.

She now felt like she knew…she repressed her attractions by only forcing herself to have feelings for Ivan. It was so stupid and now she was crying over it. She felt like shit and it made her frustrated. She slid down to the floor and hid her face in her knees, her long platinum blonde hair covering the other parts of her face. She didn't even hear the door open.

"…Natalya?" asked a voice that sounded like a goddess to her. Natalya knew that voice anywhere. Lili had come for her. But Natalya wasn't sure if she was ready to face her. So she buried her face in her knees once again.

"Go away!" She yelled at Lili. But then she felt a touch on her shoulder, Lili was sitting right next to her.

"It's difficult for girls like us, isn't it? People just expect us to act like everything is alright, no one ever accounts for our feelings. It's like they don't think we can cry ir something." Lili mumbled. At this, Natalya felt a little reassured. Lili knew what it was like. To feel repressed on the inside by society, it was nice being able to relate to someone.

"You know, because of you, I realized that I was bisexual. I knew I liked boys, but I hid that because I felt they weren't worth it. So I went for my brother, thinking what I felt was romantic instead of just a sense of protection. But deep down, I knew I liked girls, as well as other guys. But even before I knew you, I would always check girls out, but I thought it was something that was wrong. " describing Natalya, to Lili.

"Natalya, there's nothing wrong with being bisexual. When I was in my sophomore year, I found myself staring at girls. I thought there was something wrong with me for not liking boys, like the other girls. So I started to date Ludwig, we both were each others beards. But then, even when everyone accepted Ludwig when he came out. I was still afraid they wouldn't accept me as a lesbian, if I were to come out. It's just so hard," Lili muttered softly. It seemed she was still struggling with this part of herself. Natalya removed her face from her knees and looked to the Liechtensteiner girl.

"…it is stupid to hide who you are." Natalya said in a tone that almost sounded scolding and made her seem like a hypocrite, since she used her incestuous desires as a cover up. But Lili just simply smiled at this, knowing this was just who Natalya is.

"I know, but I love you." Lili said and she immediatelt leaned in to kiss the platinum blonde girl, whose eyes were open at this, but she kissed back, never tasting something quite as delicious as this. The kiss was long and passionate, before they eventually separated. Lili got up and she helped Natalya up as well.

"Why don't you come over to my house for Christmas? I'll make sure my big brother behaves." Lili said, out of the blue.

"I can't believe I forgot about Christmas. What, with everything that happened today." stated Natalya. "Nevertheless, I will be there."

"That 's wonderful! But first why don't we go show everyone how a REAL couple is supposed to be?" Lili said, causing Natalya to smirk.

"Lets." Natalya agreed, walking off with Lili. Almost all of the pain and suffering was gone. She felt more confident now. More at ease with herself than she has in years. She finally knew who she was. Natalya Arlovskaya. Bisexual and proud. And in love with her now girlfriend Lili. She now felt like Christmas got a whole lot better. All felt right.


End file.
